Simply be

I really like what Janadas Devan wrote in The Straits Times today:

"Bad teachers insist. Good teachers show. Exceptional teachers are."

I think that is so true when it comes to spiritual practice as well.

The bad practitioners are the ones who insists that others should behave in a certain way. The good ones show the right way through their own speech and actions. But the real practitioner simply is. In body, speech and mind, the real practitioner is at one with the spiritual path.

I have realized for a long time that that's something I could not find. Sometimes, I find that if I do something kind, it was not because of a spontaneous kindness. Rather, it was a result of a intellectual reasoning. I thought through it and decided that it would be a kind and the right thing to do, then I do it. And frequently, I lost the opportunity to do the right thing because I paused too long and think too much.

I have met people whose virtues is really part of his being. He/she simply is.

I think that would be a lofty goal.

为赋新词强说...穷

看见友人写了一遍关于贫穷的文章。

原来，想留言说：“这好像有点‘少年不知穷滋味，为赋新

词强说贫’。小弟，你知道什么才是真正的贫穷吗？”

后来想想，这似乎刻薄了一点。文中的思想其实是相当成熟的。他写的，也无非是亲身经历，坦诚的感言。时代不一样了，贫穷的定义，或许也变了。

我不敢说我知道贫穷是什么。但我知道，一家人挤入一间小房间，和其它几个租户共用一个厕所与洗澡房，而“厨房”就是在走廊上放个炉灶，那种的情况是怎么样的。因为我住过。我看过，弓着背的老太太到菜市场拾起那些菜贩丢掉的蔬菜，切掉了坏的部分，把剩下的一堆一堆摆在地摊卖。我知道，因为有一段日子，我吃的菜就是这些一两毛钱一堆的菜。我知道，原来我们一直吃的最便宜的白米是“给狗吃的”。因为，我们买米时，店里的老板当着我们的脸这么说的。我知道，交学费时，老师不高兴地数着一大堆的银角是这么样的情况，因为那时，那些银角就是我们家里仅能掏出的所剩下的钱。

我不敢说我知道贫穷是什么，因为我知道世界上还有很多很多的人挨着饿，也没有住宿。至少，我没睡过街头，也没挨过饿。

因此，我知道，对物质上的拥有，我是应该感到满足的。因此，我知道，对于父母那些年辛苦挣钱，供我们孩子温饱与教育，我是应该感恩的。因此，我知道，世上还有更多在贫困与饥饿中挣扎，我是应该同情的。

我也知道，贫困固然可悲，但精神上与感情上的贫乏，更是可悲。

物质上，我不是很富有，但我是满足的。
精神上，我不算很圆满，我只能说我尽量修行。
而感情上，我却一直感到贫乏...

Kindness breds kindness

I must admit that I can be quite cruel or curt when refusing or rejecting other people.

I am not good at dealing with relationships. I find refusing or rejecting people very difficult to do. I do not wish to hurt people, but always ended being unnecessarily cruel or harsh.

Just recently, someone responded quite kindly in refusing my advances.

In spite of my disappointment, I realized how his kind response made me felt good about the experience.

From the inspiration I got from him, I have started to apply the same kindness towards other people.

I need to thank him for teaching me an important lesson.

Who got sacrificed in the choice?

Happiness is a choice.

It's something I won't argue against. But a while back, I found out that in a choice, there is always something or someone being left out. And I had not paused to think about the feelings of the person who got left out in a choice before.

It happened some time back. Mr X made a choice and got hooked up with the hunky Mr Y. He started singing the tune that "Happiness is a choice". Indeed, it seemed a joyous thing and everyone was happy for Mr X.

But what few people knew about was that in choosing Mr Y, Mr X abandoned Mr Z. Few heard the sobs and saw the tears of Mr Z.

Suddenly, the tune that "Happiness is a choice" sounded like a very cruel thing.

In a choice, there is always one who got chosen and the rest who got left out. When the choices are people, it is inevitable that someone will feel left out, disappointed or even hurt.

Perhaps, we might have made a good choice and felt very happy about it. But there is no need to flaunt it, especially in front of those who got left out. As happy as we might be, we need to be careful and sensitive towards the feelings of the others.

That's what I learned from the story of Mr XYZ.