亲爱的，我便将要离去。
请你，请你，不要哭泣。
就让我化作灰烬，
埋入土中。
请你种棵黄花树，
以树作为碑。
每当严冬过去，春暖花开，
此树黄花满枝丫，
或许，你便会想起我：
“啊！亲爱的，这就是你的壮美！”。
2010年6月17日
看《姑尸王本生谭》后而作。
-------------------------------
母！乞收吾之骨，路旁行荼毗。
母！汝为吾作田，遍植黄花树。
严冬过去，每于花开时，
母！当想吾子，彼女如斯姿！
取自 《南传本生经·姑尸王本生谭》 （Kusa Jataka， Jataka,V,302)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
眼看着一季就要离去
我一直挺喜欢张艾嘉的那首《爱情有什么道理》，因为我也不是很明白爱情有什么道理。
歌里有一句：“眼看这一季就要离去，我的春天还没有来。”
我一直唱着这首歌，等着春天的来临。
可是我最近这么想。或许，春天已经来过了，只是在青涩与愚昧中，莫名地蹉跎了，却一直以为春天还没来。
我想，不论是蹉跎了，还是错过了，逝去的，无法再来。
如果，一直执着着春天会不会来，而连夏天与秋天都一起错过了，那才是真正的遗憾。
这一季，过去就让它过去吧。我应该把握的是来临的季节，不管是夏天、秋天，还是冬天。
歌里有一句：“眼看这一季就要离去，我的春天还没有来。”
我一直唱着这首歌，等着春天的来临。
可是我最近这么想。或许，春天已经来过了，只是在青涩与愚昧中，莫名地蹉跎了，却一直以为春天还没来。
我想，不论是蹉跎了，还是错过了，逝去的，无法再来。
如果，一直执着着春天会不会来，而连夏天与秋天都一起错过了，那才是真正的遗憾。
这一季，过去就让它过去吧。我应该把握的是来临的季节，不管是夏天、秋天，还是冬天。
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Bathing the Buddha
In Singapore and Malaysia, Vesak is celebrated with bathing the Buddha, or rather a statue of baby prince Siddharta.
There are many people, especially those from the Theravadan tradition, who are quite puzzle with this practice and wonders where this comes from.
This practice is actually adopted from the Chinese Buddhist festival "Bathing Buddha" day, which celebrates the birth of the Buddha.
Vesak is the official public holiday that is celebrated throughout the Buddhist community. So much so that even many of the Chinese Mahayanist Buddhist are not aware that Vesak is not the tradition Chinese Buddhist holiday that marks the birth of the Buddha.
The tradition Buddhist calendar marks the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar (四月初八)as the birthday of the Buddha. This is known as the Bathing Buddha day (浴佛节) which is a public holiday in Hong Kong.
This day is normally in May, and is usually one week before Vesak day. Most Chinese temples still celebrate this quietly, reserving the public celebration with devotees for Vesak day.
There is an interesting legend associated to this. According to an ancient Chinese historical record Book of Zhou -- Records of the Extraordinary （《周书异记》），on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar in the 26th year of the reign of king Zhou Zhuang (周昭王二十六年，1027BC), the king saw auspicious colorful radiant light descending on the palace. When the king asked his court about it, the court historian explained that this means that a holy person had come into the world in the west. He predicted that the teachings of this holy person would eventually come to China after a thousand years.
When Buddhism came to China, many people believed that the record found in the Book of Zhou refers to the birth of the Buddha. Nonetheless, the Chinese always celebrated the birthday of the Buddha on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar.
There are doubts on the authenticity of this "history record". Some believed it was fabricated by the early Chinese Buddhists who tried to use historical basis to promote Buddhism. However, it had been celebrated up to this day.
According to the legends, after the Buddha walked seven steps immediately after his birth and declared himself to be the greatest among the humans and the devas. The Chinese version had the additional detail of dragons appearing and showered the prince with water. Supposedly, that's why people celebrated the birthday of the Buddha by bathing the baby statue of prince Siddharta.
Almost every Vesak day, I hear people asked what is the significance of bathing the Buddha. The consistent answer I hear is "it an act of purification."
I am not sure if people interpreted it literally or symbolically. We must bear in mind that the Buddha himself never believed in ritualistic purification. He objected to it in many occasions. In the Udana, he said, "Not by water is one made pure though many people may here bathe, but one in whom there is truth and Dhamma, he is pure, he is a brahmin." It is clear that the Buddha did not believe that the act of washing (whether yourself or a statue) would purify yourself, but rather, the mind is pure through the thorough understanding and practice of the Dhamma.
We can take this a symbolic gesture of wishing to be pure, but should not believe that it would actually purify us in anyway. In Chinese Buddhism, when bathing the Buddha, there is a verse to be recited that goes like this:
《赞佛偈》
我今灌沐诸如来， I now come to bathe the Tathagata
净智庄严功德海， May the pure wisdom adorn the sea of merits
五浊众生令离垢， May all beings be free from defilements
同证如来净法身. And thus attain the pure form of the Tathagata.
It is clear from the verse that the act is really just a symbol of an aspiration for enlightenment.
Yesterday, I attend a talk by Ajahn Bram at the Buddhist Fellowship. Someone asked the same question again and Ajahn Bram gave a very interesting answer.
According to Ajahn Bram, in ancient India, pouring of water in represents an exchange or a transfer. Hence pouring water on the Buddha represents giving up oneself into the practice of the Dhamma.
I thought that was an interesting explanation.
There are many people, especially those from the Theravadan tradition, who are quite puzzle with this practice and wonders where this comes from.
This practice is actually adopted from the Chinese Buddhist festival "Bathing Buddha" day, which celebrates the birth of the Buddha.
Vesak is the official public holiday that is celebrated throughout the Buddhist community. So much so that even many of the Chinese Mahayanist Buddhist are not aware that Vesak is not the tradition Chinese Buddhist holiday that marks the birth of the Buddha.
The tradition Buddhist calendar marks the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar (四月初八)as the birthday of the Buddha. This is known as the Bathing Buddha day (浴佛节) which is a public holiday in Hong Kong.
This day is normally in May, and is usually one week before Vesak day. Most Chinese temples still celebrate this quietly, reserving the public celebration with devotees for Vesak day.
There is an interesting legend associated to this. According to an ancient Chinese historical record Book of Zhou -- Records of the Extraordinary （《周书异记》），on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar in the 26th year of the reign of king Zhou Zhuang (周昭王二十六年，1027BC), the king saw auspicious colorful radiant light descending on the palace. When the king asked his court about it, the court historian explained that this means that a holy person had come into the world in the west. He predicted that the teachings of this holy person would eventually come to China after a thousand years.
When Buddhism came to China, many people believed that the record found in the Book of Zhou refers to the birth of the Buddha. Nonetheless, the Chinese always celebrated the birthday of the Buddha on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar.
There are doubts on the authenticity of this "history record". Some believed it was fabricated by the early Chinese Buddhists who tried to use historical basis to promote Buddhism. However, it had been celebrated up to this day.
According to the legends, after the Buddha walked seven steps immediately after his birth and declared himself to be the greatest among the humans and the devas. The Chinese version had the additional detail of dragons appearing and showered the prince with water. Supposedly, that's why people celebrated the birthday of the Buddha by bathing the baby statue of prince Siddharta.
Almost every Vesak day, I hear people asked what is the significance of bathing the Buddha. The consistent answer I hear is "it an act of purification."
I am not sure if people interpreted it literally or symbolically. We must bear in mind that the Buddha himself never believed in ritualistic purification. He objected to it in many occasions. In the Udana, he said, "Not by water is one made pure though many people may here bathe, but one in whom there is truth and Dhamma, he is pure, he is a brahmin." It is clear that the Buddha did not believe that the act of washing (whether yourself or a statue) would purify yourself, but rather, the mind is pure through the thorough understanding and practice of the Dhamma.
We can take this a symbolic gesture of wishing to be pure, but should not believe that it would actually purify us in anyway. In Chinese Buddhism, when bathing the Buddha, there is a verse to be recited that goes like this:
《赞佛偈》
我今灌沐诸如来， I now come to bathe the Tathagata
净智庄严功德海， May the pure wisdom adorn the sea of merits
五浊众生令离垢， May all beings be free from defilements
同证如来净法身. And thus attain the pure form of the Tathagata.
It is clear from the verse that the act is really just a symbol of an aspiration for enlightenment.
Yesterday, I attend a talk by Ajahn Bram at the Buddhist Fellowship. Someone asked the same question again and Ajahn Bram gave a very interesting answer.
According to Ajahn Bram, in ancient India, pouring of water in represents an exchange or a transfer. Hence pouring water on the Buddha represents giving up oneself into the practice of the Dhamma.
I thought that was an interesting explanation.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Don't mock my mock meat
Just recently I attended dinner with fellow vegetarians. Sitting at my table was another vegetarian who was deriding mock meat, saying things like "if you are still craving for meat, then you might as well eat the real meat."
This is not an isolated incident. Over the years, I have encountered many vegetarians who attack or ridicule mock meat.
I can understand if a meat-lover sniggers at mock meat. But I find it most unfortunate that vegetarians do the same thing.
The ground for objections is over the fact that eating mock meat appears to indicate that the vegetarian has not given up meat and still craves for meat. In some ways, that is probably true. But it is not fair then to add on remarks along the line that "there is then no difference between eating mock meat and real meat".
Well, to the animal whose meat would otherwise being eaten, I am sure it is a BIG difference.
To a person whose purpose for becoming vegetarian is purely spiritual, eating mock meat perhaps indicates a craving for meat. From that perspective, the mind still craves, and perhaps it made no difference whether the meat is real or not.
Indeed, I can agree with that from an academic point of view. However, we must bear in mind that this is not the only reason for going vegetarian. One of the most important motivations for being vegetarian is the practice of compassion -- to spare the animals from suffering and to avoid killing. And that's precisely where mock meat comes into the picture.
While mock meat does not help a person get rid of the mental cravings, it does avoid the direct killing of animals. The bottom line is that mock meat is NOT animal flesh -- and that should matter.
As frequently as I have met people who are simply dismissive of vegetarians, I also have met many people who agree with the values or benefits of vegetarianism. But they feel that they are not able to give up the craving for meat altogether. To these people, mock meat can play in important role in helping with the transition.
Even from a spiritual perspective, I think there is still a difference. No matter what, these meat substitutes just are not the same as the real meat. If a person is willing to give up real meat and settle for the substitute, that is a level of giving up. The person should be applauded for the will power to give up that much in spite of his cravings. For the matter, who is to say that the vegetarian who does not eat mock meat has no craving for food in other ways?
Thus, I think mock meat has its place in the vegetarian diet. Whatever vegetarians may feel towards it, it doesn't not deserves that kind of scathing attack it frequently gets.
It's OK if you do not eat mock meat. However, do not mock my mock meat.
***
Personally, I find that mock meat spice up the Asian vegetarian cooking. It adds variety and textures, and is also a source of protein (surprise, surprise! Most mock meat are actually vegetable protein). The key is not to look at these as "meat" -- in spite of names like "vegetarian BBQ pork", "vegetarian fish", "vegetarian squid", "vegetarian mutton" etc. Learn to look at these as processed vegetables.
However, I do not advocate eating too much of these. A balanced variety is key to a healthy vegetarian diet. It is unhealthy, if mock meat becomes dominant in the vegetarian diet. Further more, most of the mock meat are highly processed. They contain high levels of salt, sugar, fats and artificial flavouring. It is definitely not advisable to eat too much of these.
In my regularly diet, I always try to eat more fresh vegetables and keep mock meat to less than one third of any meal. So, for lunch, I may choose 1 dish of mock meat at most and 2 other vegetable dishes. That has work well for me.
This is not an isolated incident. Over the years, I have encountered many vegetarians who attack or ridicule mock meat.
I can understand if a meat-lover sniggers at mock meat. But I find it most unfortunate that vegetarians do the same thing.
The ground for objections is over the fact that eating mock meat appears to indicate that the vegetarian has not given up meat and still craves for meat. In some ways, that is probably true. But it is not fair then to add on remarks along the line that "there is then no difference between eating mock meat and real meat".
Well, to the animal whose meat would otherwise being eaten, I am sure it is a BIG difference.
To a person whose purpose for becoming vegetarian is purely spiritual, eating mock meat perhaps indicates a craving for meat. From that perspective, the mind still craves, and perhaps it made no difference whether the meat is real or not.
Indeed, I can agree with that from an academic point of view. However, we must bear in mind that this is not the only reason for going vegetarian. One of the most important motivations for being vegetarian is the practice of compassion -- to spare the animals from suffering and to avoid killing. And that's precisely where mock meat comes into the picture.
While mock meat does not help a person get rid of the mental cravings, it does avoid the direct killing of animals. The bottom line is that mock meat is NOT animal flesh -- and that should matter.
As frequently as I have met people who are simply dismissive of vegetarians, I also have met many people who agree with the values or benefits of vegetarianism. But they feel that they are not able to give up the craving for meat altogether. To these people, mock meat can play in important role in helping with the transition.
Even from a spiritual perspective, I think there is still a difference. No matter what, these meat substitutes just are not the same as the real meat. If a person is willing to give up real meat and settle for the substitute, that is a level of giving up. The person should be applauded for the will power to give up that much in spite of his cravings. For the matter, who is to say that the vegetarian who does not eat mock meat has no craving for food in other ways?
Thus, I think mock meat has its place in the vegetarian diet. Whatever vegetarians may feel towards it, it doesn't not deserves that kind of scathing attack it frequently gets.
It's OK if you do not eat mock meat. However, do not mock my mock meat.
***
Personally, I find that mock meat spice up the Asian vegetarian cooking. It adds variety and textures, and is also a source of protein (surprise, surprise! Most mock meat are actually vegetable protein). The key is not to look at these as "meat" -- in spite of names like "vegetarian BBQ pork", "vegetarian fish", "vegetarian squid", "vegetarian mutton" etc. Learn to look at these as processed vegetables.
However, I do not advocate eating too much of these. A balanced variety is key to a healthy vegetarian diet. It is unhealthy, if mock meat becomes dominant in the vegetarian diet. Further more, most of the mock meat are highly processed. They contain high levels of salt, sugar, fats and artificial flavouring. It is definitely not advisable to eat too much of these.
In my regularly diet, I always try to eat more fresh vegetables and keep mock meat to less than one third of any meal. So, for lunch, I may choose 1 dish of mock meat at most and 2 other vegetable dishes. That has work well for me.
Friday, March 5, 2010
孙梓评。《男身》。
孙梓评，一个陌生的名字。直到与《男身》邂逅。
我不曾读完一本书，又马上重读。《男身》是第一本。
张曼娟在《男身》的序文里说：“然而，看见他的创作手稿的时候，就再也无法忽略他。”真的。
《男身》不是新书。2002年初版，2007年再版。第一次去台湾时，看到了，没买。去年再访台湾，差点就不买了。原因是：封面不好看。最后还是看了张老师在序文里的推荐才买了下来。回来，搁在书架上几个月，上个月才开始看。一看，就放不下手了。
这不是因为这是一本同志的故事。而是因为孙梓评的文笔竟是如此的美，把故事里的每一段爱情写得如此扣人心弦，如此地动人，让人一同坠入感情里的漩涡。
孙梓评的文笔令人震撼。
“我在夏天的气味中，遇见京都。”
当我看到这一句时，真的被震撼了。这么简单，这么平凡的一件事--到京都，竟然能写成这样地美丽，是我不曾想象过的。
张曼娟老师说：“他的文字带着一种霸道的温柔，长驱直入，掳攫你心灵内在依旧柔软的那个部分，以诗的均衡与神奇，引导你的想象力去探险。”
孙梓评描写感情的笔法极细。他善于制造气氛，以景烘托，以事喻情，以物指人，让人不知不觉中被牵动。
“夏季盛开的蝴蝶已飞，树上只留下孤单的枯枝。”
“秋天过得好快，偷渡着冬天的气息，冷不防地，学校山坡上的枫树全都疯狂地红了起来，向一把凄凉的火。”
“风吹落残叶，我侧身走入一座公园，澄蓝的光泽筛在树椿下，别有一股夏日的凄凉。”
“车子驶上山区，路旁渐次绿了起来，秋日，苔在山壁上写诗，每一句，都是渐行渐远的相思。”
“电话铃声像是死了一般，屋子里只有一股寒冷的寂静。”
有时，不知道写的是景还是情。
就连失恋，他都写的那么婉转，却又是那么黯然，那么深刻。
“我以为自己就要和幸福相逢了，一失神，却终究只是擦身而过。”
“我站在原处。许久，才发现爱情已经落幕。”
关于爱情的道理，关于人生的哲学，孙梓评写得深、写得真，让人细细咀嚼，味道久久不散。
他的爱情道理：
“爱了就算，爱了才算。”
“相爱，是两个人的事，一个人的力量太单薄了。”
“爱，是一座天平，我们都小心翼翼，衡量着彼此的心，孰重孰轻？”
“爱，是一座港口。总有船会来，总有船要走。”
“冰冷的爱情往往比死亡更带着一丝寒意，伤人至深，沉沦最底。”
他的人生哲学：
“很多事，当初不经意，将来都会后悔的。”
“很多东西，错过了，遗憾了，反而美。”
“其实，紊乱的往事或许根本不须回避， 只要小心梳理整齐， 摆在有月光的天台上， 放久了， 说不定也能逸出一些温暖的暗香。”
“我们人生中的许多遭遇， 原来都是一场一场缤纷炫丽的烟火， 因为只有刹那， 所以美得令人心悸。 然而，如果能够明白， 烟火在盛开的同时，也注定了凋谢的命运， 是自然而不可违逆的， 或许，我们都能愿意 去领受千般滋味，甘之如饴。 因为，我们还是可以等待下一场烟火，还可以预约另一场缤纷炫丽。”
我拿着笔，一面看，一面把句子画出来。
我不是很懂得文学。我不清楚为什么，孙梓评的《男身》在同志文学中，似乎不怎么显著。
但这是将一本我会收藏的书。
在感情荒芜的日子里，让那文字里美丽的相思，一点点偷渡过来。
我不曾读完一本书，又马上重读。《男身》是第一本。
张曼娟在《男身》的序文里说：“然而，看见他的创作手稿的时候，就再也无法忽略他。”真的。
《男身》不是新书。2002年初版，2007年再版。第一次去台湾时，看到了，没买。去年再访台湾，差点就不买了。原因是：封面不好看。最后还是看了张老师在序文里的推荐才买了下来。回来，搁在书架上几个月，上个月才开始看。一看，就放不下手了。
这不是因为这是一本同志的故事。而是因为孙梓评的文笔竟是如此的美，把故事里的每一段爱情写得如此扣人心弦，如此地动人，让人一同坠入感情里的漩涡。
孙梓评的文笔令人震撼。
“我在夏天的气味中，遇见京都。”
当我看到这一句时，真的被震撼了。这么简单，这么平凡的一件事--到京都，竟然能写成这样地美丽，是我不曾想象过的。
张曼娟老师说：“他的文字带着一种霸道的温柔，长驱直入，掳攫你心灵内在依旧柔软的那个部分，以诗的均衡与神奇，引导你的想象力去探险。”
孙梓评描写感情的笔法极细。他善于制造气氛，以景烘托，以事喻情，以物指人，让人不知不觉中被牵动。
“夏季盛开的蝴蝶已飞，树上只留下孤单的枯枝。”
“秋天过得好快，偷渡着冬天的气息，冷不防地，学校山坡上的枫树全都疯狂地红了起来，向一把凄凉的火。”
“风吹落残叶，我侧身走入一座公园，澄蓝的光泽筛在树椿下，别有一股夏日的凄凉。”
“车子驶上山区，路旁渐次绿了起来，秋日，苔在山壁上写诗，每一句，都是渐行渐远的相思。”
“电话铃声像是死了一般，屋子里只有一股寒冷的寂静。”
有时，不知道写的是景还是情。
就连失恋，他都写的那么婉转，却又是那么黯然，那么深刻。
“我以为自己就要和幸福相逢了，一失神，却终究只是擦身而过。”
“我站在原处。许久，才发现爱情已经落幕。”
关于爱情的道理，关于人生的哲学，孙梓评写得深、写得真，让人细细咀嚼，味道久久不散。
他的爱情道理：
“爱了就算，爱了才算。”
“相爱，是两个人的事，一个人的力量太单薄了。”
“爱，是一座天平，我们都小心翼翼，衡量着彼此的心，孰重孰轻？”
“爱，是一座港口。总有船会来，总有船要走。”
“冰冷的爱情往往比死亡更带着一丝寒意，伤人至深，沉沦最底。”
他的人生哲学：
“很多事，当初不经意，将来都会后悔的。”
“很多东西，错过了，遗憾了，反而美。”
“其实，紊乱的往事或许根本不须回避， 只要小心梳理整齐， 摆在有月光的天台上， 放久了， 说不定也能逸出一些温暖的暗香。”
“我们人生中的许多遭遇， 原来都是一场一场缤纷炫丽的烟火， 因为只有刹那， 所以美得令人心悸。 然而，如果能够明白， 烟火在盛开的同时，也注定了凋谢的命运， 是自然而不可违逆的， 或许，我们都能愿意 去领受千般滋味，甘之如饴。 因为，我们还是可以等待下一场烟火，还可以预约另一场缤纷炫丽。”
我拿着笔，一面看，一面把句子画出来。
我不是很懂得文学。我不清楚为什么，孙梓评的《男身》在同志文学中，似乎不怎么显著。
但这是将一本我会收藏的书。
在感情荒芜的日子里，让那文字里美丽的相思，一点点偷渡过来。
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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