再见伊人，
人事已非。
曾经的恋慕，
竟已不存。
再见伊人，
如今已是
再见，伊人！
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
It is not about being picky. It is about finding happiness.
Your mother told you so. Your father told you so. Your relatives told you so. Your friends told you so. Even Mr Lee Kuan Yew told you so.
Don't be too picky. Settle for someone less than perfect.
There is even an advertisement the ministry commissioned to "educate" people about this.
But really, this is not a matter about being picky. It is about finding happiness.
Today, I finally found in Ms Shenton (a columnist in the Chinese language My Paper, whom I believed is married)， a person who is able to empathise with the middle-age single and tell it as it is.
Note: Makei-Inu (まけ‐いぬ【负け犬】), is a Japanese word which literally means "failed dog", and is used to refer to single ladies above 30 years old.
单身者所常面对的舆论，就是自己太挑了，不切实际地要求完美的配偶。的确，每个都会对理想伴侣有一定的要求与条件。然而，我们都明白，没有什么人是十全十美的。当我们遇见心仪的对象时，即使不符合原先的种种条件，也不会觉得是一种妥协或委屈。
其实，我们的坚持，并不是要求一个完美的梦中情人，而是一种勇于追求幸福的坚持。
Don't be too picky. Settle for someone less than perfect.
There is even an advertisement the ministry commissioned to "educate" people about this.
But really, this is not a matter about being picky. It is about finding happiness.
Today, I finally found in Ms Shenton (a columnist in the Chinese language My Paper, whom I believed is married)， a person who is able to empathise with the middle-age single and tell it as it is.
The fact is, the partner you end up with is frequently not the same as the ideal partner in your dreams. But there is nothing sad about this, because, as you know it in your heart, true happiness is meeting someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.- from My Paper, 30 Jun 2010
Before Mr Right appears, you impose on an imaginary person requirements such as appearances, physique, hobbies, etc. You can dream about how handsome, how great and how romantic he is.
But when you find meet the right man, you will abandon all the requirements you have. Even if he is not as outstanding or as good-looking as you imagined he to be, you would not have thought it a compromise on your ideals.
Dear Makei-Inu sisters, what you really insisted on, is not about finding the ideal man. Your insistence is really about finding happiness. Have confidence in yourself. Don't wait passively. As long as you do not give up the courage to love, even if you are just an ordinary girl, you will be able to find your happiness eventually.
Note: Makei-Inu (まけ‐いぬ【负け犬】), is a Japanese word which literally means "failed dog", and is used to refer to single ladies above 30 years old.
单身者所常面对的舆论，就是自己太挑了，不切实际地要求完美的配偶。的确，每个都会对理想伴侣有一定的要求与条件。然而，我们都明白，没有什么人是十全十美的。当我们遇见心仪的对象时，即使不符合原先的种种条件，也不会觉得是一种妥协或委屈。
其实，我们的坚持，并不是要求一个完美的梦中情人，而是一种勇于追求幸福的坚持。
事实上，所选择的终身伴侣往往和心中的理想伴侣未必吻和。这不是一件难过的事，因为你心里知道，当你遇上了一个愿意共度一生的男人，才是真正的幸福。
真命天子还没有出现时，你会把外貌、身高、爱好等条件付诸一个想象中的人物身上，那时你可以尽情构想属于自己的这个理想人物有多帅、多伟大、多浪漫。
而当你遇到那对的人时，之前所有的标准都会被抛诸脑后。即使他不那么优秀，不是你理想中那个样子，你也不会觉得这是一种妥协。
各位败犬姐妹，其实你所坚持的，不是那个梦想中的男人，而是勇于追求幸福的坚持。不要质疑自己，不要被动等待，幸福需要自己去紧紧抓住。只要不放弃爱的勇气，即使是再平凡再普通的女生，也能迎来自己的春天。
《败犬的最终幸福》 - Ms Shenton
《我报》 2010年6月30日（星期三）
Thursday, June 17, 2010
请你种棵黄花树
亲爱的，我便将要离去。
请你，请你，不要哭泣。
就让我化作灰烬，
埋入土中。
请你种棵黄花树，
以树作为碑。
每当严冬过去，春暖花开，
此树黄花满枝丫，
或许，你便会想起我：
“啊！亲爱的，这就是你的壮美！”。
2010年6月17日
看《姑尸王本生谭》后而作。
-------------------------------
母！乞收吾之骨，路旁行荼毗。
母！汝为吾作田，遍植黄花树。
严冬过去，每于花开时，
母！当想吾子，彼女如斯姿！
取自 《南传本生经·姑尸王本生谭》 （Kusa Jataka， Jataka,V,302)
请你，请你，不要哭泣。
就让我化作灰烬，
埋入土中。
请你种棵黄花树，
以树作为碑。
每当严冬过去，春暖花开，
此树黄花满枝丫，
或许，你便会想起我：
“啊！亲爱的，这就是你的壮美！”。
2010年6月17日
看《姑尸王本生谭》后而作。
-------------------------------
母！乞收吾之骨，路旁行荼毗。
母！汝为吾作田，遍植黄花树。
严冬过去，每于花开时，
母！当想吾子，彼女如斯姿！
取自 《南传本生经·姑尸王本生谭》 （Kusa Jataka， Jataka,V,302)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
眼看着一季就要离去
我一直挺喜欢张艾嘉的那首《爱情有什么道理》，因为我也不是很明白爱情有什么道理。
歌里有一句：“眼看这一季就要离去，我的春天还没有来。”
我一直唱着这首歌，等着春天的来临。
可是我最近这么想。或许，春天已经来过了，只是在青涩与愚昧中，莫名地蹉跎了，却一直以为春天还没来。
我想，不论是蹉跎了，还是错过了，逝去的，无法再来。
如果，一直执着着春天会不会来，而连夏天与秋天都一起错过了，那才是真正的遗憾。
这一季，过去就让它过去吧。我应该把握的是来临的季节，不管是夏天、秋天，还是冬天。
歌里有一句：“眼看这一季就要离去，我的春天还没有来。”
我一直唱着这首歌，等着春天的来临。
可是我最近这么想。或许，春天已经来过了，只是在青涩与愚昧中，莫名地蹉跎了，却一直以为春天还没来。
我想，不论是蹉跎了，还是错过了，逝去的，无法再来。
如果，一直执着着春天会不会来，而连夏天与秋天都一起错过了，那才是真正的遗憾。
这一季，过去就让它过去吧。我应该把握的是来临的季节，不管是夏天、秋天，还是冬天。
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Bathing the Buddha
In Singapore and Malaysia, Vesak is celebrated with bathing the Buddha, or rather a statue of baby prince Siddharta.
There are many people, especially those from the Theravadan tradition, who are quite puzzle with this practice and wonders where this comes from.
This practice is actually adopted from the Chinese Buddhist festival "Bathing Buddha" day, which celebrates the birth of the Buddha.
Vesak is the official public holiday that is celebrated throughout the Buddhist community. So much so that even many of the Chinese Mahayanist Buddhist are not aware that Vesak is not the tradition Chinese Buddhist holiday that marks the birth of the Buddha.
The tradition Buddhist calendar marks the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar (四月初八)as the birthday of the Buddha. This is known as the Bathing Buddha day (浴佛节) which is a public holiday in Hong Kong.
This day is normally in May, and is usually one week before Vesak day. Most Chinese temples still celebrate this quietly, reserving the public celebration with devotees for Vesak day.
There is an interesting legend associated to this. According to an ancient Chinese historical record Book of Zhou -- Records of the Extraordinary （《周书异记》），on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar in the 26th year of the reign of king Zhou Zhuang (周昭王二十六年，1027BC), the king saw auspicious colorful radiant light descending on the palace. When the king asked his court about it, the court historian explained that this means that a holy person had come into the world in the west. He predicted that the teachings of this holy person would eventually come to China after a thousand years.
When Buddhism came to China, many people believed that the record found in the Book of Zhou refers to the birth of the Buddha. Nonetheless, the Chinese always celebrated the birthday of the Buddha on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar.
There are doubts on the authenticity of this "history record". Some believed it was fabricated by the early Chinese Buddhists who tried to use historical basis to promote Buddhism. However, it had been celebrated up to this day.
According to the legends, after the Buddha walked seven steps immediately after his birth and declared himself to be the greatest among the humans and the devas. The Chinese version had the additional detail of dragons appearing and showered the prince with water. Supposedly, that's why people celebrated the birthday of the Buddha by bathing the baby statue of prince Siddharta.
Almost every Vesak day, I hear people asked what is the significance of bathing the Buddha. The consistent answer I hear is "it an act of purification."
I am not sure if people interpreted it literally or symbolically. We must bear in mind that the Buddha himself never believed in ritualistic purification. He objected to it in many occasions. In the Udana, he said, "Not by water is one made pure though many people may here bathe, but one in whom there is truth and Dhamma, he is pure, he is a brahmin." It is clear that the Buddha did not believe that the act of washing (whether yourself or a statue) would purify yourself, but rather, the mind is pure through the thorough understanding and practice of the Dhamma.
We can take this a symbolic gesture of wishing to be pure, but should not believe that it would actually purify us in anyway. In Chinese Buddhism, when bathing the Buddha, there is a verse to be recited that goes like this:
《赞佛偈》
我今灌沐诸如来， I now come to bathe the Tathagata
净智庄严功德海， May the pure wisdom adorn the sea of merits
五浊众生令离垢， May all beings be free from defilements
同证如来净法身. And thus attain the pure form of the Tathagata.
It is clear from the verse that the act is really just a symbol of an aspiration for enlightenment.
Yesterday, I attend a talk by Ajahn Bram at the Buddhist Fellowship. Someone asked the same question again and Ajahn Bram gave a very interesting answer.
According to Ajahn Bram, in ancient India, pouring of water in represents an exchange or a transfer. Hence pouring water on the Buddha represents giving up oneself into the practice of the Dhamma.
I thought that was an interesting explanation.
There are many people, especially those from the Theravadan tradition, who are quite puzzle with this practice and wonders where this comes from.
This practice is actually adopted from the Chinese Buddhist festival "Bathing Buddha" day, which celebrates the birth of the Buddha.
Vesak is the official public holiday that is celebrated throughout the Buddhist community. So much so that even many of the Chinese Mahayanist Buddhist are not aware that Vesak is not the tradition Chinese Buddhist holiday that marks the birth of the Buddha.
The tradition Buddhist calendar marks the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar (四月初八)as the birthday of the Buddha. This is known as the Bathing Buddha day (浴佛节) which is a public holiday in Hong Kong.
This day is normally in May, and is usually one week before Vesak day. Most Chinese temples still celebrate this quietly, reserving the public celebration with devotees for Vesak day.
There is an interesting legend associated to this. According to an ancient Chinese historical record Book of Zhou -- Records of the Extraordinary （《周书异记》），on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar in the 26th year of the reign of king Zhou Zhuang (周昭王二十六年，1027BC), the king saw auspicious colorful radiant light descending on the palace. When the king asked his court about it, the court historian explained that this means that a holy person had come into the world in the west. He predicted that the teachings of this holy person would eventually come to China after a thousand years.
When Buddhism came to China, many people believed that the record found in the Book of Zhou refers to the birth of the Buddha. Nonetheless, the Chinese always celebrated the birthday of the Buddha on the 8th day of the 4th month of the Chinese calendar.
There are doubts on the authenticity of this "history record". Some believed it was fabricated by the early Chinese Buddhists who tried to use historical basis to promote Buddhism. However, it had been celebrated up to this day.
According to the legends, after the Buddha walked seven steps immediately after his birth and declared himself to be the greatest among the humans and the devas. The Chinese version had the additional detail of dragons appearing and showered the prince with water. Supposedly, that's why people celebrated the birthday of the Buddha by bathing the baby statue of prince Siddharta.
Almost every Vesak day, I hear people asked what is the significance of bathing the Buddha. The consistent answer I hear is "it an act of purification."
I am not sure if people interpreted it literally or symbolically. We must bear in mind that the Buddha himself never believed in ritualistic purification. He objected to it in many occasions. In the Udana, he said, "Not by water is one made pure though many people may here bathe, but one in whom there is truth and Dhamma, he is pure, he is a brahmin." It is clear that the Buddha did not believe that the act of washing (whether yourself or a statue) would purify yourself, but rather, the mind is pure through the thorough understanding and practice of the Dhamma.
We can take this a symbolic gesture of wishing to be pure, but should not believe that it would actually purify us in anyway. In Chinese Buddhism, when bathing the Buddha, there is a verse to be recited that goes like this:
《赞佛偈》
我今灌沐诸如来， I now come to bathe the Tathagata
净智庄严功德海， May the pure wisdom adorn the sea of merits
五浊众生令离垢， May all beings be free from defilements
同证如来净法身. And thus attain the pure form of the Tathagata.
It is clear from the verse that the act is really just a symbol of an aspiration for enlightenment.
Yesterday, I attend a talk by Ajahn Bram at the Buddhist Fellowship. Someone asked the same question again and Ajahn Bram gave a very interesting answer.
According to Ajahn Bram, in ancient India, pouring of water in represents an exchange or a transfer. Hence pouring water on the Buddha represents giving up oneself into the practice of the Dhamma.
I thought that was an interesting explanation.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Don't mock my mock meat
Just recently I attended dinner with fellow vegetarians. Sitting at my table was another vegetarian who was deriding mock meat, saying things like "if you are still craving for meat, then you might as well eat the real meat."
This is not an isolated incident. Over the years, I have encountered many vegetarians who attack or ridicule mock meat.
I can understand if a meat-lover sniggers at mock meat. But I find it most unfortunate that vegetarians do the same thing.
The ground for objections is over the fact that eating mock meat appears to indicate that the vegetarian has not given up meat and still craves for meat. In some ways, that is probably true. But it is not fair then to add on remarks along the line that "there is then no difference between eating mock meat and real meat".
Well, to the animal whose meat would otherwise being eaten, I am sure it is a BIG difference.
To a person whose purpose for becoming vegetarian is purely spiritual, eating mock meat perhaps indicates a craving for meat. From that perspective, the mind still craves, and perhaps it made no difference whether the meat is real or not.
Indeed, I can agree with that from an academic point of view. However, we must bear in mind that this is not the only reason for going vegetarian. One of the most important motivations for being vegetarian is the practice of compassion -- to spare the animals from suffering and to avoid killing. And that's precisely where mock meat comes into the picture.
While mock meat does not help a person get rid of the mental cravings, it does avoid the direct killing of animals. The bottom line is that mock meat is NOT animal flesh -- and that should matter.
As frequently as I have met people who are simply dismissive of vegetarians, I also have met many people who agree with the values or benefits of vegetarianism. But they feel that they are not able to give up the craving for meat altogether. To these people, mock meat can play in important role in helping with the transition.
Even from a spiritual perspective, I think there is still a difference. No matter what, these meat substitutes just are not the same as the real meat. If a person is willing to give up real meat and settle for the substitute, that is a level of giving up. The person should be applauded for the will power to give up that much in spite of his cravings. For the matter, who is to say that the vegetarian who does not eat mock meat has no craving for food in other ways?
Thus, I think mock meat has its place in the vegetarian diet. Whatever vegetarians may feel towards it, it doesn't not deserves that kind of scathing attack it frequently gets.
It's OK if you do not eat mock meat. However, do not mock my mock meat.
***
Personally, I find that mock meat spice up the Asian vegetarian cooking. It adds variety and textures, and is also a source of protein (surprise, surprise! Most mock meat are actually vegetable protein). The key is not to look at these as "meat" -- in spite of names like "vegetarian BBQ pork", "vegetarian fish", "vegetarian squid", "vegetarian mutton" etc. Learn to look at these as processed vegetables.
However, I do not advocate eating too much of these. A balanced variety is key to a healthy vegetarian diet. It is unhealthy, if mock meat becomes dominant in the vegetarian diet. Further more, most of the mock meat are highly processed. They contain high levels of salt, sugar, fats and artificial flavouring. It is definitely not advisable to eat too much of these.
In my regularly diet, I always try to eat more fresh vegetables and keep mock meat to less than one third of any meal. So, for lunch, I may choose 1 dish of mock meat at most and 2 other vegetable dishes. That has work well for me.
This is not an isolated incident. Over the years, I have encountered many vegetarians who attack or ridicule mock meat.
I can understand if a meat-lover sniggers at mock meat. But I find it most unfortunate that vegetarians do the same thing.
The ground for objections is over the fact that eating mock meat appears to indicate that the vegetarian has not given up meat and still craves for meat. In some ways, that is probably true. But it is not fair then to add on remarks along the line that "there is then no difference between eating mock meat and real meat".
Well, to the animal whose meat would otherwise being eaten, I am sure it is a BIG difference.
To a person whose purpose for becoming vegetarian is purely spiritual, eating mock meat perhaps indicates a craving for meat. From that perspective, the mind still craves, and perhaps it made no difference whether the meat is real or not.
Indeed, I can agree with that from an academic point of view. However, we must bear in mind that this is not the only reason for going vegetarian. One of the most important motivations for being vegetarian is the practice of compassion -- to spare the animals from suffering and to avoid killing. And that's precisely where mock meat comes into the picture.
While mock meat does not help a person get rid of the mental cravings, it does avoid the direct killing of animals. The bottom line is that mock meat is NOT animal flesh -- and that should matter.
As frequently as I have met people who are simply dismissive of vegetarians, I also have met many people who agree with the values or benefits of vegetarianism. But they feel that they are not able to give up the craving for meat altogether. To these people, mock meat can play in important role in helping with the transition.
Even from a spiritual perspective, I think there is still a difference. No matter what, these meat substitutes just are not the same as the real meat. If a person is willing to give up real meat and settle for the substitute, that is a level of giving up. The person should be applauded for the will power to give up that much in spite of his cravings. For the matter, who is to say that the vegetarian who does not eat mock meat has no craving for food in other ways?
Thus, I think mock meat has its place in the vegetarian diet. Whatever vegetarians may feel towards it, it doesn't not deserves that kind of scathing attack it frequently gets.
It's OK if you do not eat mock meat. However, do not mock my mock meat.
***
Personally, I find that mock meat spice up the Asian vegetarian cooking. It adds variety and textures, and is also a source of protein (surprise, surprise! Most mock meat are actually vegetable protein). The key is not to look at these as "meat" -- in spite of names like "vegetarian BBQ pork", "vegetarian fish", "vegetarian squid", "vegetarian mutton" etc. Learn to look at these as processed vegetables.
However, I do not advocate eating too much of these. A balanced variety is key to a healthy vegetarian diet. It is unhealthy, if mock meat becomes dominant in the vegetarian diet. Further more, most of the mock meat are highly processed. They contain high levels of salt, sugar, fats and artificial flavouring. It is definitely not advisable to eat too much of these.
In my regularly diet, I always try to eat more fresh vegetables and keep mock meat to less than one third of any meal. So, for lunch, I may choose 1 dish of mock meat at most and 2 other vegetable dishes. That has work well for me.
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