Wednesday, September 10, 2008

On love and emotional development

Last Sunday, Ven Dhammika made a very interesting comment. On the topic of relationships, he said that he found people who had been in a relationship and loved deeply are frequently able develop a deep sense of metta.

Recently, I had been on a related train of thoughts. Sometimes, I feel that I that I lack a certain level of maturity or "richness" in my emotional development -- something lacking in some aspects. I wondered if it was because I never really had a deep relationship before.

The lacking is not so much like the Christian concept that we are not complete as an individual person and that need another partner to become complete. Rather, I think it is a lack of that experience, which could be so helpful in emotional development and maturity.

Yet, I find the idea of getting into a relationship just so as to use the partner to help me learn and develop rather abhorent. If I would get into a relationship, it has to be because I really loved him. And in that true love, we would help each other grow, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

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