Being Authentic

A friend told me once,

You are more than what you appear to be. You have a lot of opinions, emotions and thoughts, but you do not show them. You have too much inhibitions and restraints. You can't let go of yourself and express who you really are.

In a manner that only validated his observations, I only smiled and said nothing, giving no indication of whether I agreed or not.

Sure, I keep quiet on a lot of stuff people say about me. However, in most cases, I felt misunderstood. But for this one, I knew he spoke true. This is perhaps one of the keenest observations I ever heard a friend made.

I do want to be more authentic. I think that means being a little more expressive, a little more frank, a little more spontaneous, a little more earnest and be willing to share a little more.

Sometimes, I think I hide too much, projecting only a nice, if somewhat artificial and superficial image.

But after all these while, it's not easy being authentic. It is not easy to overcome the fear of being easy to read and hence vulnerable. It is not easy to overcome the fear of being thought of as less when the weaknesses are revealed.